we're chasing vodka with high fives
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
