How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize