smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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