Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
