She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
my poor anus
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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