i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
