WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
