Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
don't judge my taste in strippers
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize