you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
