can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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