How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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