If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
