In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
