White coat. Heels.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
