I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
