i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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