I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
