Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
