she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
