his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
