So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
two words...techno handjob
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
