You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
