Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
