remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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