So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
