We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
