He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
