"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
