Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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