I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Panties = found
Randomize
