Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
