the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
