Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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