she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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