Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
