I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
