So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
