Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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