thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
