I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
