What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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