at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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