summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
