all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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