Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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