people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
