Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
