would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
