If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
