i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
