Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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