I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
