Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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