You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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