she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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