I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just high enough for therapy.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
