Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
