i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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