please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
