did you get engaged???
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
