Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
