wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
