I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
